Ahoy Ahoy?

if people can't f*cking handle making a simple cellular phone call, then
how in the world can we rebuild a broken city or fund social security?

You know the people:

(your phone): Ring Ring

(you):Ahoy Ahoy? (alexander graham bell's predesigned salutation on the
telephone)

(them):_________________

(you): I say there old chap? 'alo?

(them):____________________

(you): please say something, anything... jackass.

(them): oh hello, is this the Humane Society?

(you): uh no, wrong number?

(them): oh, who is this?

(you): charles

(them): oh what number is this?

(you): [in your quiet voice] SWEET HEAVENLY JUMPING JESUS [in your other
people voice] The WRONG one.

(them): Well you don't have to be rude
<end call>

(your phone): Ring Ring

(you): MY EYE! [you just jabbed a coffee swizel stick into it)